What is holding you back from the life you really want?
Most likely it is your limiting beliefs. Unless you have been in this space, you may not have heard of limiting beliefs before.
“Limiting beliefs are the stories we tell ourselves that hold us back from becoming the person we are meant to be,” as described by Tony Robbins.
During our early childhood years (most research says primarily between the ages of 2 and 7 years of age) we are like little sponges. We absorb everything around us and this begins to shape our reality. Our parents, and their relationship, are the greatest force of influence for the beliefs we have about ourselves, relationships and the world.
Here’s how they work:
A young child may have parents who have high expectations. This child is expected to be clean, well-mannered, follow the rules and get straight As. If the child does something to disappoint their parents, they begin to adopt an identity of being a failure.
Say this child has just graduated college and they apply for several jobs. If they don’t get the job they want, they again reinforce this story or belief that they are a failure. And at this stage of their life, they not only feel like a failure to themselves but also again to their parents. This story leads to self-sabotage because our brains will find a way to achieve whatever it is we believe.
When we create a story, particularly one that we believe, we eventually repeat similar scenarios and reinforce this story. Therefore, limiting beliefs can become deeply engrained into every part of who we believe we are.
Additionally, and to make matters worse, we have an inner critic (that little voice inside your head) that likes to remind you of your believed or perceived limitations.
These beliefs can be challenging to shift but not impossible. Again, it starts with awareness. Take some time to consider some of the beliefs you have about yourself or the world that hold you back.
The primary limiting beliefs originate from fear:
- The fear of failure, or
- The fear of success
Other common limiting beliefs include:
- I am not good enough or qualified enough
- I don’t have enough time
- People don’t want to hear what I have to say
- I don’t have enough money
- I am too old or too young
Do any of these sound familiar? There are tons of limiting beliefs, but these are common ones that can lead to self-sabotage. You may also begin to recognize these beliefs when you find yourself saying “I can’t” or “I have to” or “I should”.
In order to shift our beliefs, we start by getting at the root. Where did this belief originate? Did you adopt this belief from someone else or did you create this belief based on your own experience?
Once we identify the root cause, then we start questioning if this belief is factual. In many instances, this belief may feel very real but it may not be rooted in fact.
The work to re-program limiting beliefs requires time and persistent effort. Just think, you likely have been running this program for 30+ years. If it takes 2 years to re-write the program so you can live the life you desire for your next 30 years, it is worth it, right?
“The power of our beliefs can work in either direction becoming life affirming or life denying.” Gregg Braden. The power, however, is that you get to choose.
If you are interested in coaching to help walk through the re-programming process, fill out the contact form here. I would love to connect with you.