Connection is an innate human need. We were born needing others to take care of us, love us and help us learn. I think many of us, particularly those who didn’t have their needs met as babies and children grow up to feel this intense need to be able to do it all on their own. And while there is something to be said about being empowered and being able to be independent, we weren’t meant to do life alone.
A lack of connection has been shown to lead to greater risk of anxiety, depression, antisocial behaviors, lower self-esteem and higher rates of suicide. I think it is easy to see that isolation and loneliness would have an impact on mental health but did you know it has a profound impact on our physical health too? One study identified that those who indicate more frequent loneliness are at greater risk of mortality, morbidity, infection, cognitive decline, inflammation and cardiovascular disease.
While there have been informal reports, I haven’t seen many studies that have looked at loneliness over the last year, but I would be hard-pressed to believe that the numbers have not risen. A study conducted by Mental Health America found that 71% of people indicate that they turn to a friend or loved one for support during stressful times. Another study found that 25% of Americans say that they do not have anyone they consider a close friend. This study, in particular, was asking about confidants, or someone with whom they felt comfortable to share a personal problem. That means that one in four Americans feel as though there is no one they can call in a time of need.
We need to do better. We need to be able to turn to friends in a time of need and we need to prove that we can be there for others. We need connection. My ask for you this week is that you reach out to at least one person and let them know that you will be there for them. I am not asking you to ‘fix’ them or solve their problems, but I am asking that you lend a listening ear and help them to feel seen and heard in their experience. It may be necessary to provide them with a phone number or ask them to seek the help of a professional, but at least let someone know that you are there.
I pulled this following excerpt from Psychology Today because I felt it was incredibly powerful and truly highlights the need to connect:
Human connection is an innate need.
Brene Brown, professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, specializes in social connection. In an interview, she told me: “A deep sense of love and belonging is an irresistible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick. (Dr. Emma Seppala, Psychology Today).”
Social connection is a fundamental need and it impacts our physical health, mental health and our longevity. As you take considerations for your health in the future, don’t just focus on eating right and exercising, make sure you focus on your meaningful connections with others as well.